God Hates Shopping Malls


There are clear irrefutable references in the Holy Scriptures that go to prove the century’s old adage ‘God Hates Shopping Malls.’

“Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!” (John 2:15)

“But if people are bound in chains, held fast by cords of affliction.” (Job 36:7 makes direct reference to the modern affliction that binds consumers to chain-stores) 

“The first centres of his kingdom were Babylon, Uruk, Akkad and Kalneh, in Shinar” (Genesis 10:9 tells us the fate of shopping centres in the days before Christ - they all now lie in ruin – surely an obvious precursor to the fate that awaits us, least we pay heed?)  


"I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children" (In Gen 3:16 Yahweh made sure that women, because of their sinful affinity to shopping-malls, should suffer the pains of child birth)   

“Let us break their chains and throw off their shackles.” (It is clear from Psalm 2:2 God wants us to break free from shopping at chain-stores)

“So they put slave masters over them to oppress them with forced labour, and they built Pithom and Rameses as store cities for Pharaoh” (The Old Testament describes giant stores built of slave labour over a thousand years before Christ, Exodus 1;11)

"Is tasteless food eaten without salt, or is there flavour in the sap off the mallow?"(Hard not to see Job 6:5 refers specifically to tasteless mall food)

"Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves."(Jesus personally destroys an ancient shopping-mall with his bare hands! Matthew 21:12)

"How much more those who live in houses of clay, whose foundations are in the dust, who are crushed more readily than a moth!(Job 4:19 pertains to 'houses of clay' which Biblical scholars and theologians have translated to be the ancient equivalents of a complex of shops in close proximity - what we now call malls today.) 

"It was Hezekiah who blocked the upper outlet of the Gihon."(Chronicles 32:30 tells of the noble tale of Hezekiahs battle to prevent an outlet opening in his village)